Saturday, December 29, 2007

Hangover Cures

Absinthe is again available in the United States (our long national nightmare is over), so severe drunks with epic hangovers can now make a proper Sea Captain’s Special. This drink was invented by Seattle bartender Harry Porter. The following recipe is from David Wondrich:

In an Old-Fashioned glass, place a sugar cube (or 1/2 teaspoon loose sugar). Wet this down with 2 or 3 dashes of Angostura bitters and a short splash of water or club soda and crush the sugar with a muddler or whatever's handy. Rotate the glass so that sugar grains and bitters give it a lining. Add a large ice cube. Pour in 2 1/2 ounces rye (or bourbon) and top off with brut champagne and 2 dashes absinthe. (If you lack this ingredient, you may use one of the substitutes available -- Absente, Herbsaint, Pernod, etc. -- but since they contain no wormwood, this step will be, let's say, homeopathic.)
Happy New Year.
"I have had occasion, I fancy, to speak before now of these pick-me-ups of Jeeves's and their effect on a fellow who is hanging to life by a thread on the morning after. What they consist of, I couldn't tell you. He says some kind of sauce, the yolk of a raw egg and a dash of red pepper, but nothing will convince me that the thing doesn't go much deeper than that. Be that as it may, however, the results of swallowing one are amazing."
- Right Ho, Jeeves.

Monday, June 18, 2007

$1,000,000 Remote Viewing Challenge

A prize of $1,000,0001 will be awarded to any remote viewer able to identify the curio which sits on the left corner of the shelf above my desk. Place descriptions in comments.

1The existence of the $1,000,000 prize can be verified by remote viewing my bank account.

Monday, May 28, 2007

For a limited time only

Click on the sponsor links at right, and you could win1 free airline tickets to exotic vacation destinations like Tokyo, Bangkok, Las Vegas, Djibouti, Prague, and of course Tiraspol; places where people can still enjoy cigarettes, famous brand silk ties, Gin Rickeys2, fine dining, adult escorts, animal stacking (or “Tieraufstapelung”), and mixed martial arts.

1Though I doubt it.

2If you’re going to insist on drinking gin then make it Boodles. Why not have a beer instead? Hoegaarden Belgian White Ale is an ideal beer for summer quaffing.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Smoking saves lives

By taking a cigarette break a woman avoids being killed by a tree. Unlike secondhand smoke, which no one has ever died from, one can find reports of trees killing people every day. It's sad.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Good fun and good for you

To the list of smoking’s many benefits, which include great taste, a soothing effect on the nerves, heightened mental acuity, to name just a few, can now be added the discovery smokers are at lower risk of getting Parkinson’s disease. At this point there really is no longer any excuse for not enjoying an occasional cigarette.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Never do what your told

A new study suggests smokers are less docile than non-smokers. Arguably the anti-smoking crusade is merely the leading edge of other forms of totalitarianism. Smokers as a group are independent thinkers who resist conformity, and therefore must be crushed first.

Instead of obeying every chance you get, why not roll a cigarette? All the Peter Stokkebye Blends are highly recommended, and have a drink too. Dewars rocks, perhaps with a bit of Drambuie in it (that's a Rusty Nail), goes great with cigarettes made from fine tobaccos. Enjoy.

Monday, December 25, 2006

The company you keep

The Taliban has come out against smoking.

Smoking bans are anti-civilization, as a great American reminds us: